What's happenin', people? Happy Hump Day. Seriously, do you plan on
engaging in any actual humping today? Here we go ...

*MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS*
So tonight we *didn't* have the 'early commercial break' format.
Experimentation.

*DESK CHAT HIGHLIGHTS*
'Late Show' strike captain Bill Scheft is back. Where's he been? He's
been out of commission for a couple of weeks. What was the deal? Dave
says Bill had a 'tie transplant.' No, no. Bill had a *hip* replaced.
Wow. Dave tells him he looks great. He may have lost a little weight.
Bill says he had it done two weeks ago. He says if you need help losing
'those last 5-10 difficult pounds,' he recommends getting a hip
replaced. But he's doing OK; feeling pretty good? Bill says he is. Can
he do any 'deep knee' bends? Maybe later. He does have a cane. Can he
bend over; pick stuff up? He's got a 'grabber' for that. So Bill not
only got a new hip, but they also installed a grabber. Dave tells Bill
it's good to have him back. Congratulations, Bill. (Is 'congratulations'
an appropriate thing to say to someone who's just had a hip replaced? My
bedside manner is impeccable.)

On another topic, they're now saying it's jalapeno peppers that can
*kill you*. Dave says he doesn't really like it when people cash in on
things like this. What's he talking about? If you go into RadioShack,
you can now get an at-home jalapeno tester. It kind of resembles a
hand-held metal detector. How does it work? Dave demonstrates, using
three jalapeno peppers. The first two are OK. The third one is tainted.
How does the machine alert you to a tainted jalapeno? It plays a
hilarious version of 'La Cucaracha.' It sounds like a novelty horn, really.

After the break, we took a look at some 'Small Town News,' which was
momentarily interrupted by a guy dressed in a Batman costume, of sorts.
What's he doing back there? He's wondering if this is the line for
Batman tickets. Dave tells him it isn't. Dave informs him that they're
in the middle of a show, actually. The guy asks Dave whether he wants to
go see Batman *with* him. Dave says yes, yes he does. He'll call him
later. And there he goes.

There were also a couple of clips, including one regarding Barack
Obama's campaign staff. (Senator Obama has the biggest campaign staff in
presidential candidate history. This is not to be confused with the
distinction held by Richard Nixon, who, according to his wife Pat, had
the biggest *staff* in presidential campaign history. 'Nixon: Big where
it counts.')

We also took a look at an installment of 'Great Moments in Presidential
Speeches.' (Bush: "I like to fish.")

*AMANDA PEET*
She was fun last night. Plus, Biff got to come out for a few minutes.
The film is "The X Files: I Want to Believe." It opens this Friday, July
25. I know *I* believe -- I believe I won't go see this film. (You see
what I just did? What I did there? Heh. I'm pretty hilarious sometimes.)

*JON HAMM*
He was a pretty good guest. The show is "Mad Men."

*AUGUSTANA*
I figure Helen gave this performance about, oh, eight seconds. The album
is "Can't Love, Can't Hurt."

*MISCELLANEOUS MEANDERING*
What's happenin', people? I need to go. I gotta get a good night's rest.
Me & some of my buddies from the American Family Association are getting
up early tomorrow to go picket a local McDonald's.

Grimace must be spinning in his grave.

Later ...

Brady

On Jul 23, 4:51 am, Brady <watercl...@earthlink.net> wrote:

Bill looked great for being a couple of weeks out of major surgery. I
guess it was that side splitting comedy that caused the hip
to be replaced. Congrats Mr Scheft.

Bill

On Jul 23, 4:51 am, Brady <watercl...@earthlink.net> wrote:

Cannot believe she declined an offer to stay after her segment. What
was that -- her kid? She had to return to her kid? Come on. Fifteen
minutes.

Brad

She certainly brought out the best in Dave.

On Jul 23, 10:40 am, Brad Hill <bradh...@gmail.com> wrote:

I heard she had to fly to Kansas.

news:rt6dnR_1heq2bBvVnZ2dnUVZ_s_inZ2d@earthlink.com...

I'm not rushing out to buy the album, but I didn't hate them. THe staging
and lighting was excellent, too.

I hope you're joking.

On Jul 23, 1:51 am, Brady <watercl...@earthlink.net> wrote:

Which would, of course, be the only "experimentation" in the
monologue.

Good for Bill.  Too bad he didn't bring comedy implants back to the
show.

Wow.  Could this have been lamer?

In the same way that dishwater and drying paint is "fun."  I wonder
who dreads her appearances more, me or her?

Dullsville.  I realize there's no way around it, but I hate the "tell
us about yourself" panels.

I've blocked them out already.

Grimace was gay?  I had no idea.

--Dave Sikula

    I heard him on the radio yesterday morning...said he actually got the
deluxe grabber...one with a light on it.

--

Alan

www.best-page.us

               ~WWWWW~
What a Wonderful Web We Weave

I always think these segments serve as a warning to people who dream of breaking
into show business of how dull stars can be.

Tom W

On Jul 23, 11:56 am, "dsik...@yahoo.com" <dsik...@yahoo.com> wrote:

I wanted to shoot Bob Goulet. Here's a guy who plays a fascinating
character on one of, if not the best show on television and he's
telling nothing stories about his childhood and trying to move to
California. They showed a marathon of all the "Mad Men" episodes on
Sunday. I know this is asking a lot, but how about someone recording
it and Dave watching a show or two. But I shouldn't complain too much.
Afterall, we did get to learn that it is very hot during the summer in
St. Louis and Florida.

Alan Page filted:

That's the one I got, but only because they were having a sale that made it less
than the plain-vanilla version...I don't have any real need for the light....

(The guys at the Taco Bell drive-up window love it when I pull up and that claw
reaches in)....r

--
Evelyn Wood just looks at the pictures.